Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Nelly, A Holiday Doggerel

by Brett Rutherford

NELLY spent years pursuing a cure
     for her raging NYMPHOMANIA,
Then on her thirteenth Balkan tour
she took to bed, and promptly wed
a shepherd from Albania.

When she brought him home for Christmas week
they made love all night on the attic floor.
Of the acts they performed we can barely speak —
in the widow’s walk! on the sundial clock!
on the underside of the cellar door!

They were seen on a rock overhanging the lake
doing things to each other that cannot be named.
When he crept to her sister’s bed by mistake,
the pastor protested — they were nearly arrested —
yet the couple just laughed and refused to be shamed.

Contentment for Nelly was foredoomed to be brief.
for the Serb grew sullen and retired into gloom.
When a necklace vanished and they searched for a thief ,
they found half of her heirlooms concealed in his room

On New Year’s Day the villainous wretch

ran off with the lamb from the village crèche.

*** ***

This was written some years ago in New York. It may have been intended to be added to my little set of Christmas doggerel that accompanied Knecht Ruprecht.

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