by Brett Rutherford
Pavel, on waking up,
holds back eye-opening
until he checks
with anxious fingers
whether his nose
is in its proper place —
god forbid
you should lose your nose!
Next, and even more concerned,
he gently unfolds
the tangled blanket
to check down below —
god forbid
you should lose your penis!
All is well. All is well.
He shudders to think
of poor cousin Dimitri
who awoke one morn,
his nose between his legs,
and his manhood dangling
beneath his forehead.
Now just imagine that,
having to go about,
shorts over head,
eyes looking out
from cotton-stretch leg-holes,
the stifled nose below
enduring the smells
the trousers accumulate.
A sneeze down there
is not a pretty picture!
For Pavel, at least,
it is a normal day.
He can open one eye,
the left one always first,
and then the other —
eyes in their sockets,
mind you, and not
on the fingertips
like cousin Masha,
one for the annals of medicine!
The things that can happen
during a sound sleep
are better not thought of.
