Fame at Last!

Whoop-de-goddamm-doo! Fox Business Network just sent me an email telling me that the Poet's Press can have a two-minute spot on the FOX Business Network for only $4,000. Now I can reach all those toothless troglodytes who have just been waiting for BIG POETRY ENLIGHTENMENT and I can sell my books by the boxcar-load. Hell, I'll need my own railroad siding since Fox Business Network will reach a MASSIVE AUDIENCE of AFFLUENT CUSTOMERS. Why didn't I think of this before? My god, I can be famous at last! The Poets Press authors can ride around in limousines! The Kardashians will quote my poems. My lines will turn up in tattoos, on T-shirts, and the lids of the flat-brimmed baseball caps.