Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Buster, or the Unclaimed Urn

This is a posthumous collaboration with Barbara A. Holland. It is included in the new Poet's Press book, The Secret Agent.


BUSTER,
or The Unclaimed Urn


An Un-illustrated Book
by
ABADON BARR-HALL




1.
A well-pleased gray cat gave birth
to a litter of fourteen little kittens
whose eyes were as yet unopened,
and who spent most of their days
crawling all over one another
while batting those who climbed over them
with their tiny paws, and sucking
the fresh milk form their mother’s side.
One was a very special cat, not like
a cat that anyone had seen before.
Which one of the fourteen was he? We’ll see!

2.
Then one day the lady who owned
their mother decided she only wanted three,
and would give six away to people
who would love them. And she would drown
the other five, for who would be
expected to take home so many kittens!
Too many, no matter how pretty
they all might be! Was he to be one
of the Chosen, or the Drowned?

3.
So the lady chose which kittens
she wanted. Most you could not tell
what gender they were as yet. Two were girls,
for sure, and one was a boy, and he was a noble
little thing. As pretty as anything could be.
Wasn’t he the lucky one?

The doorbell rang. The visitors came.
They picked and chose and argued.
Even his mother was taken away.
The rest were scooped up. The toilet flushed.
Now he was the only one left! Just one!



4.
A voice in a tall shadow named him “Buster.”
Buster was gray, silvery-gray
on the legs and back, gray on the back
of his head and his ears, but his face
was white, and he was white beneath
the chin and his chest and stomach,
and he wore white socks. What kind
of cat was Buster anyway, all this-and-that?

5.
Buster paid court to the woman,
big hands and shadow, loud voice and all.
He was hungry a lot.
Buster would wake the lady up
in the morning by licking her face
with his tongue. He patted her cheek
just ever so gentle with his paws.
Buster had to pretend to like her,
or he would never get fed.

6.
Then came the day when the lady noticed
that he was fat for a kitten. Some sort of lump
stuck out at each side of his head,
and his forelegs met at two bent shoulders.
“That’s not what a cat
is supposed to look like!” she muttered.
Whatever could be wrong with Buster?

7.
So then one day, when she was playing with him,
her fingers slipped along his sides
and she discovered that he had WINGS,
two little furry wings which fit him perfectly.
They were gray on the backs
and as he flapped them open,
they showed clean white beneath them.
Whoever heard of a cat with WINGS?

8.
Buster’s head drooped on his chest.
She had discovered his secret.
Now she would drown him too,
for she hated everything that was not nice,
anything irregular or lumpy or out-of-shape.
He knew from what she said that he
he was the only one of his brothers
and sisters and kittens of uncertain
gender, the only one for sure with WINGS!

He had another secret, too. He had WINGS,
and he knew how to use them!

9.
Would she hate him now? Would be be drowned?
The lady seemed delighted. She crowed.
He lifted his head and looked straight at her.
“Go ahead,” she said. “Show me.”

Flapping his wings slowly, he showed her,
how up and out they opened, and flapped.
WINGS were to show you are happy.

10.
Each morning, he would get up,
stand on two legs as tall as he could,
and stretch his wings out, out and up.
He would set them shaking.
“Go ahead!” she encouraged him.
She laughed and he walked and fluttered.

Then down he went, like a common house-cat,
and all he could do was utter a faint meow.
The reward was a pat on his neck
and a trip to the bowl in the kitchen.
“My little eagle!” she crooned. “My little eagle.”



11.
One day the windows were all-the-way open.
He walked to the far wall, then turned
and raced toward them and spread his wings
and FLAP, FLAP, FLAPPED
and he found himself flying out the window
just like the birds who fell by accident
and always seemed to come back up.

Now he knew their secret, too: up and out,
then down and up again! Imagine,
a cat with wings. No one was ever
going to drown him! And he had a world to see,
and his whiskers thrilled and trembled.

12.
Cats are no more curious
than any other animal,
          but a cat’s WHISKERS
are like a personal radar.
Buster’s seemed to feel about in the air.
They looked eager to understand.
Buster let the soft plume
of his tail stand straight up tall.
Now he could fly straight. This little thing
would make a difference.
Wings out, tail up, here comes BUSTER!



13.
He came and went from the house
without the lady knowing it —
she liked the window open,
and so did he. Back in the house
he was hearth-kitten, ears up and ready
for the sound of cat-food, for whatever sounds
were there to be heard, nose twitching for
fresh smells of clean litter and Lysol.

He did his duty when the lady entered.
“How is Buster? How is the little eagle.”
Flap-flap-flutter-meow, he would answer.
He rolled on the floor, this way, that way,
wings tucked neatly under, resting up.

14.
Daytimes, when the lady went to work,
he had all the outdoors to investigate.
One night, on the window-sill, he heard
things he had never heard before,
a far-away fluttering, calling, the night,
the opal eye of the big moon,
so he slipped out the window
         and flew away.
She watched him do it. She ran to stop him.
She cried hopelessly,
for she thought he was gone for good.
No one was safe at night in the city!
Would Buster come back? Would you?

15.
But he was only just down in the garden,
three floors below where the ground-floor tenant
had roses (ouch!) to land on, soft ferns
and a catnip patch much visited by felines
of every conceivable shape and color.
There, he learned new ways to catch food.



16.
There were big ailanthus trees
all around the garden. They smelled terrible,
but up in their spiky leaves a person who flew
could get lost, or stay hidden
where no one would ever find them.
Among the flickering leaves at night,
only the eyes of the ones up there were visible.
Can you see BUSTER in the high trees?

17.
And there, one night, on a high branch,
he met a new friend, The Owl
(What owl? Who? Don’t ask an owl his name
because he’ll never tell you. Who will suffice.)
He doesn’t talk much, anyway,
looks wiser and smarter than he actually is.
Turning his eyes this way, that way,
all he is thinking about is, probably: mice.

And that was just fine with Buster.
Buster loved mice.

18.
Buster knew one way only
to catch a mouse: a slow process
with no promise of getting anything,
just crouching in front of a hole
in the lady’s baseboard, and waiting.
It had been hardly worth the trouble.

Out here, the mice were everywhere.
They ran about like crazy people
looking for their own food. Careless,
they never saw Buster crouching
and certainly never saw The Owl
as he swooped down on them.



19.
Buster and the Owl, the Meow and the Who,
came up with a method to hunt together.
They’d hide among the leaves,
     The Owl, watching
     Buster, with his big ears and radar whiskers,
          listening. They made
a game of it, to see who could slide out
of the twig-end of the low branch first
and land on the back of the prey.

One mouse for you, Mr. Owl. One vole for you,
     Mr. Cat! The chipmunk is on to us.
A rat? A rat we can divide between us!

20.
Exploring the neighborhood by daytime
Buster would see bats like empty bags hanging
from the doors of old garages.
There goes one he frightened with his paw-prod:
no bigger than a mouse
but with a wingspread many times wider
than its little body.

Ah, Buster, marveled. If a cat can fly,
why not a mouse, a flying mouse.
These Buster would not eat:
          he respected them.

21.
Birds! Oh to catch a bird!
Birds, after all, despite their prettiness,
devoured one another. One giant hawk
swooped down and made off with anything
its talons could carry: rabbits and birds,
chipmunks, and even a toy poodle
(to that, Buster said Good riddance!).
Buster wasn’t good at catching birds.
He had been brought up for stalking.

22.
On a long flight
that nearly exhausted him
he came to a pond, and to a bird,
a lordly bird on stilts. The Heron
nodded a little and then resumed
his absolute stillness.

Buster saw fish, red, gold and brown
move aimlessly around the heron’s legs.
How do you catch fish?
     he asked the Heron.

Hours and hours he stood and waited,
     the Heron explained
until the fish ignored him.
Then he’d jab down with his long beak
and come up with a neatly-skewered fish.

Buster did not have a beak,
and the water, which he tried,
was cold and chilling. Pads of his paws
could tread on water, he could dart
and flutter and try to catch fish,

but no, Buster was not getting wet,
the way the lady sometimes had tried
to make him cleaner and fluffier.

No way, Baby, no way
is any self-respecting cat
going to lurk in the water
on four short legs!




23.
He spent the summer
in the trees with all the varied birds
(they finally came to be unafraid
once he announced he couldn’t catch them
and didn’t like the taste of feathers, anyway.
Well-fed on mice, he was growing.
He started to feel that time was passing.
He was bigger, stronger, longer-legged
and sleek, but something was wrong:
Buster’s wings did not grow with him.
They were just the same size
as when he first kitten-flew
and made his great escape.

If this kept up, he would not lift himself
to the treetops anymore.

24.
On one final flight to see how far, how high,
how much of the city he could explore,
Buster flapped up to where a high wind
grabbed him and took him up high
     the dizzy-up where the hawks went.

His mouth wide, his whiskers extended,
tail up to guide him, he soared the skyline.
Towers he saw from above, rooftops and ladders,
windows and fire escapes, twisted iron ropes
of river-spanning bridges. Sharp edges, high
spires jabbed at him. If he fell here,
the city below would skin him alive.



25.
Buster was dizzy. He had gone too high.
No one should see their high places upside-down.
His wings were tired. He dropped
onto a window-ledge some thirty floors
above the street. He looked below
and almost belched a fur-ball. He looked
to both sides: nothing, just other windows
and no way to get to them.
What would become of Buster, thirty floors up?

26.
This was no place for a cat at all.
Changing with three feet like any other cat,
he tapped with one forepaw
     against the window pane.
Buster was frightened now.
He remembered how The Owl had warned him:
Fur is no replacement for feathers.

He had lost his nerve for leaping.
Too high, too far,
        to the unforgiving pavement.
And no time to wonder if The Owl was wrong.

27.
Not every wind is friendly. New ones swirled
around the building, and lashed him.
The pigeons he shared the ledge with
kept nudging him, afraid
he would bother their little nestlings.
Move over, they said, or fly back
     to where you came from.
So Buster’s ledge-hold became
a paw-and-claw tango.
If Buster fell off, could he fly up again?



28.
Inside the window a woman typed,
click-clickedly-clack, all the while Buster
was going tap-tappedy-tap at the window-pane.
He tried his loudest meow. The woman
looked up. She stared at Buster
in wide-eyed astonishment.

He kept one paw up
against the glass, as if to wave.
She didn’t seem to see his wings
outstretched in desperation.
Instinct took over. She raised the window.
Into her two arms he leaped.
“Oh kitty!” she murmured.
“How did you get here, thirty floors up?”
Buster gave her his most
    consoling and grateful purr.

Soon the woman and her boyfriend
went off to the elevator (a car that went up
and down without a step or wing-beat!),
Buster held tight in their hands.
The door opened and closed.
Another man got on.
Cat-whiskers knew they were descending.
What would Buster’s new friends do with him?

29.
Buster shook out his wings, just in case.
The stranger’s voice bellowed, “What’s that?
What are you doing with that huge bird
on this elevator?” “It’s a CAT,” the secretary
told the loud man, lifting up Buster
to the man’s steel-gray eyes and moustache.
“He landed in fright on the window ledge.
We’re bringing him down the street,” explained
the young man. And Buster purred.



30.
Man, woman and cat emerged
into a noonday crowd below.
She petted Buster. The man’s hands
began to tighten around Buster’s
middle. His wings felt squashed.

“We’re going to make a fortune on him,”
the man said. “We need a big cage.
I have a friend at the zoo. We’ll be famous!”

And then in a burst of light and wind
they were outdoors. Buster went limp.
The woman yelled “Taxi! Taxi!”
With teeth and claws and wing-beat
Buster attacked the man and broke free.

He heard them screaming far below.
He was going home. He was fed up with flying.
People were no good, but at least
he had a place to be a hearth-cat.
His little wings had served him well enough.

31.
The lady’s window was open.
When she saw Buster, she was so glad
she even sang a song. Never had he seen
so much milk, so big a bowl of food
(no mice, but what could one expect?).

She held him and held him,
and then she noticed. “Your wings!
They seem to be growing shorter
as your body grows bigger and bigger.
I wonder what a vet would say?”



32.
To say he did not like the “cat carrier”
was putting it mildly. And what did Buster
know about this creature called “The Vet”?
“These are vestigial wings,” the Vet explained
as his gloved hand held Buster expertly.
“This is a full-grown cat you have here,
fully matured. He’s a full-fledged tomcat now.”

The woman paused to take that in.
She wrinkled her nose.
“How can I deal with that?”

“We can remove the vestigial wings,
so he’s less likely to run into danger.
God only knows what he did while he was out there.”

“Remove them? You mean a surgery?”

“Yes. Since he means so much to you.”

“Of course,” she gulped. Numbers they talked,
and then they went aside and whispered.

All Buster heard was, “The other thing
we can take care of while he’s out.”




33.
Babyhood, childhood, adolescence, all
were now in Buster’s past. He was a new thing,
something they called a tom-cat. Did this mean
no more hunting for mice and voles and rats?
no more night-watch in tree-top with Mr. Owl?

Buster waited in a small cage.
Another cat, an orange tabby, howled
and meowed in the next cage.
They talked. The orange fellow — Max
was what his owner called him —
was here for an operation, too.

“Just you wait,” Max said ominously.
I know what they do here. It’s my turn now.
They’re going to cut me down below.
I will no more go out a-prowling. No lady
cats in my future. And I will grow
immensely fat, and be pampered.”

34.
“I’m here for something else,” said Buster.
He flapped his wings to show what he meant.
“Harrumph!” said Max. “That’s fine enough
to have a bird-part removed. Who needs it?
But no one leaves here without being snipped.
It’s a conspiracy, and the Vet is a monster.”

Buster had always wondered
what the she-cats and he-cats did in the alley
that made so much noise. His life as a cat
was about to be terminated.
All the lady wanted was the idea of a cat.

Buster decided he would rather be dead.





35.
Buster was pierced with a needle, and then another.
His vision spiraled down to darkness.
His wings were carved off, the stitches applied.
“While he’s asleep, let’s do the neutering,” a voice said.

He heard it even though he was numb. His legs
no longer answered his call, and his whiskers
told him nothing, either. He even heard them breathe
when they hovered over him.

Buster meowed once, and took a death.
Twice and thrice, he meowed again —
           he had the knack of this dying thing.
Still his heart beat. He twitched and meowed
           life four, life five, life six
               there they go
          (are you sure you want to go through with this,
               Buster, no more mice ever?)
          life seven, life eight,
               meow your lungs out to give up the ninth.

“We lost him, Doctor!” the assistant reported.
“He went into seizures and we lost him.”




36.
The lady was furious
when they told her Buster was dead.
“I’m not paying for that operation,”
she shrieked, “since all you did
was kill my poor kitten.”

“You can come get the body,” they told her.

“What would I do with it?”

“We can cremate Buster. You can have a nice little urn.
There’s a pet cemetery in Queens.”

“That sounds … suitable,” the lady told them.

37.
Buster’s remains went into a furnace.
Black smoke went up, a pile of ash
sank to the bottom,
all that remained of the noble cat.

A small bronze urn, engraved
with BUSTER and the single year
of his birth and departing,
was filled with the ashes.

No one ever came to claim it.




38.
The lady cried a great deal,
but then the winter came,
and she was busy at the office,
and there were the holidays,
and then a trip away,
and come spring

the only thing that bothered her
was that an owl kept coming
to her closed window, tap-
tapping on the glass and looking
at her. She had a dread
of owls and didn’t know why
it kept tapping and peering,
tapping and peering.

After a while.
the owl stopped coming.


Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Introduction to Barbara Holland's Medusa


Barbara A. Holland died in 1988. For most of the years between 1973 and her death, I was her principal book publisher (under the imprints of The Poet’s Press, Grim Reaper Books, and B. Rutherford Books). During the intervening years, I have kept most of her chapbooks and books available, some in print and some on-line. 
After 31 years in the keeping of the McAllister family in Philadelphia, the poet's notebooks and papers have been transferred to The Poet’s Press. The objective is to find an archive that will maintain the Barbara Holland Papers, whether in physical form, or in digital form. The present volume is the first product of this project, as we have begun to catalog and scan the papers. 
Approximately 200 printed magazines containing Holland’s poems from the 1970s-1980s have been scanned.  Some of these may be added to the Collected Poems edition published in 1980; others will form a separate, large Collected Poems, Volume 2.
Astonishingly, the trove of typed manuscripts contains five book-length poetry manuscripts which, although containing some familiar “warhorses,” are largely made up of poems no one has seen outside of their appearance in obscure magazines. An enormous folder of “Old Poems” spans from the late 1960s  up to as late as 1987.  If possible, I intend to see each of these manuscripts into a print and/or digital edition before the papers are archived. Holland published, by her own account, in more than 1,000 small press and literary journals, making her one of the nation’s most prolific published poets.

Medusa and Other Poems
The present book exists, so far as I know, in only the single copy found in the Holland papers. It is self-published, undated,  and bears the address of 95 Christopher Street in Greenwich Village. By my guess and from internal evidence, the chapbook was printed sometime between 1958 and 1961. The copy at hand is personally inscribed by Holland to Leonie Adams, a famed poet who was her aunt, and whose help and encouragement she solicited. This copy has penciled markings not in Holland’s hand, and some typographic corrections by the poet. 
Barbara told me sometime in the mid-1970s that Leonie Adams had refused to help her in her poetry career, and it is no small wonder considering how shocking the content was, especially from a woman poet at the cusp of the 1960s, a daughter of two accomplished Philadelphia academics. Medusa has to be the most shocking first book of poems by any American female poet, erotic, Satanic, raw in Chthonic myth, and assured in its bardic manner.
There is some indication that Holland was persuaded to withdraw the chapbook. She never listed it in her publication credits and never offered any of the other poems for inclusion in my anthology, May Eve: A Festival of Supernatural Poetry in 1975, nor at any time after. Her notebooks offer evidence that she strove to write in other veins, but the supernatural affinity roared back by the early 1970s with Holland’s two most famous live-performance pieces, “Black Sabbat” and “Apples of Sodom and Gomorrah.” 
Medusa includes 13 poems in its table of contents. Two more poems were added, apparently to fill out two blank pages at the end of the book, so the poems “Undermined” and “Fire Tumor” should be considered as outside the conceived cycle of poems centered around the title-poem.
Although this book might seem to belong to the horror genre, this was a minor niche in 1961 and rather limited to fiction (Barbara knew the work of writers such as Ray Bradbury and Fritz Leiber and H.P. Lovecraft quite well). Along with Holland, Shirley Powell, Claudia Dobkins, and, later, Jack Veasey, we formed the Gothic avant garde in Greenwich Village, cemented with the publication of May Eve in 1975. It is safe to say that we were regarded as lunatics. But at no time did we consider ourselves part of a sub-genre: we were fellow poets in the New York poetry scene of the time, contending against all the other styles and manners of the era. And it is important to note that none of us wrote rhymed verse.  The poems we wrote were intended for performance, and we read them all over the Northeast. Barbara was our exemplar, and her readings from memory were riveting. Those who only heard her in her last few years, after illness had affected her eyesight and memory, have no idea how powerful and incantory her performances were. She was called, rightfully, the Sybil of Greenwich Village.

Poems from Notebooks and Manuscripts
For the remainder of this book, I have turned to Holland’s hand-written notebooks, and to the large “Old Poems” typescript folder. Holland’s hand-written notes are mostly preliminary sketches for poems, often a dense block of lines, not yet broken up in any kind of meter or breath-phrasing. The same lines might appear on several successive pages, re-ordered but still with little hint of what might become a typed poem for submission to a magazine. A number of these were coherent and polished enough that I felt them worthy, especially as they demonstrate Holland’s attempt to take everyday journal ideas and make them into poems.
Thus, from these notebook sketches, I have “constructed” poems. Some needed only lineation and punctuation, and since I often worked with Barbara on the final appearance of her poems in print, I did what I always did. I know her style and her voice. I passed by sketches that seemed unyielding, and prepared others that seemed almost ready to be poems.  I have invented titles, and I have made small groupings of short lyric pieces that were found on adjacent sheets and which seem to go together.
I found a clump of poems written during off-season visits to Coney Island, so I put some of these into a group titled “Coney Island Suite.”
I have also done what any book editor would do, which is silently to correct spellings, to replace words where another word was clearly intended, and in a couple of places, indicated with square brackets, to insert a word that I would have persuaded Barbara to add.  I have added a few footnotes to help the general reader.
Holland was famed for a kind of trance-like, floating “run on sentence” manner in her readings, and I have judiciously added semicolons and other punctuations that serve to make her syntax clear. In “Medusa,” which I heard Holland recite from memory hundreds of times, there was always a syntactical knot in the middle which I have finally addressed.
From the typed manuscripts I have selected a range of poems that include the everyday, as well as re-appearances of the raw desires of the Medusa poems. Those who knew Holland as an eccentric but staid “spinster poet” may be startled at her emotional confessions. But what may come back to haunt the reader is that Holland is always one brave outsider, contending with solitude, desire, scorn, and genteel poverty, the soul of a Homeric poet in the guise of a shopping bag lady. And we may see also from these poems that “Medusa” is about becoming the dreaded monster no one may regard, simply by becoming old. Holland told an interviewer, “I am my own prison.”